📆 3 Years Ago Today
After 4 days and zero sleep, we were finally allowed to leave the hospital. I was desperate to go home. I made a lot of choices during labour to try to minimise the chances of having to stay overnight. (Should’ve had the pain relief after all 😩😖)
But when we were home it hit me how terrified I was. I was absolutely exhausted. I was hallucinating. I felt so guilty for not feeling happy. I went through the motions doing things I thought I should be doing. Things I should be saying.
I put on a brave face but the weeks followed in a blur of self doubt, tears and turmoil. I hardly left the house and sat on the sofa all day too scared to put Lexi down in case she cried.
I counted down the minutes until Andy came home from work. This went on for weeks and weeks.
It was only when I found @pandas_uk that I realised that it didn’t have to continue like this for me. I made an appointment with my GP to get help and support. And the rest is history as they say.
If you’re struggling; please know you’re not alone. There are wonderful support services out there; I’ve compiled a list which can be found here.
Just like me, you can and will get better. 💜